I recently came into a period of major understanding in my life. For too long I have continued to try when I thought I was doing the right things, but no longer....because you see I now understand.
No longer will I go with the game of 'nice to my face but talk shit when I'm gone" aspect of life... I deserve better than that... and honestly.... so do you. Because you see... I now understand.
No longer am I going to go out of my way to make things easier for you... because you see I now understand that you are spiteful and mean and think you are better than me... you see... I now understand.
No longer am I going to make excuses for or defend your behavior when it is obvious that you were never in my corner... I should have learned my lesson the first time... I now understand.
No longer will I care what you think about me or my husband...we may not be perfect, but at least we are not fake...I now understand.
No longer will I go out of my way to make others happy when it pains others... I was caring about the wrong peoples' feelings...but I now understand.
No longer will I force my family to be part of things that they want nothing to do with...I understand now that I was not helping them at all...just making their hurt worse.
I know that I can not change how you feel about me or my family and honestly... I don't care anymore because I now understand.
I know that what I do care about is how you mean so much to my children...and in the end they mean nothing to you...but I can only hope that one day they too will understand.
I now understand that time changes nothing...and it is exactly the same now as it was then... but what I need for you to understand is that now that I understand... I just don't care anymore.
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Ups and Downs....highs and lows
There have been a lot of these in the Krumwiede household this past week.
The first down is that Chad's truck didn't start last week...not cool. The first up is that at least we can borrow my aunt's second car until we can afford to have it fixed.
The second up was that I was able to help a friend out while her daycare and had a great time doing it. The second down was that Brody was less than impressed with the situation and there for was rather crabby.
The third up was Delainey's amazing conference last night...she is doing amazing and we couldn't be more proud...she does have an issue with talking, but we have talked about it and know that she will try hard to improve upon that. The third down was Brody seems to have some digestive issues going on right now, so his diaper changes have not been fun for us or him... Poor guy.
The fourth up with this morning everyone had a good morning...we all got dressed and out the door without any battles, fights or crying...HUGE UP... but sadly there had to be a huge down to that because you know what goes up must come down. I raced home this morning for my weekly phone call with my Director for the March of Dimes and it seems that they did not get approval for continued support of my position, so as of 12/1/09 I am out of a job. This is sad...it sucks...it hurts. There are still alot of emotions wrapped up in this but I know that this little bump is not going to change the way that I look at the March of Dimes and it certainly isn't going to change the way our family is gonna rock it when it comes to raising money for our Family Team next Spring.... if anything it will get me more motivated because if any state needs a Family Teams Specialist it is in fact North Dakota (and the other smaller states that would benefit from this amazing position)...
So now I am gonna sit and wait for my next up ...because you know that it HAS got to be coming... Right??
The first down is that Chad's truck didn't start last week...not cool. The first up is that at least we can borrow my aunt's second car until we can afford to have it fixed.
The second up was that I was able to help a friend out while her daycare and had a great time doing it. The second down was that Brody was less than impressed with the situation and there for was rather crabby.
The third up was Delainey's amazing conference last night...she is doing amazing and we couldn't be more proud...she does have an issue with talking, but we have talked about it and know that she will try hard to improve upon that. The third down was Brody seems to have some digestive issues going on right now, so his diaper changes have not been fun for us or him... Poor guy.
The fourth up with this morning everyone had a good morning...we all got dressed and out the door without any battles, fights or crying...HUGE UP... but sadly there had to be a huge down to that because you know what goes up must come down. I raced home this morning for my weekly phone call with my Director for the March of Dimes and it seems that they did not get approval for continued support of my position, so as of 12/1/09 I am out of a job. This is sad...it sucks...it hurts. There are still alot of emotions wrapped up in this but I know that this little bump is not going to change the way that I look at the March of Dimes and it certainly isn't going to change the way our family is gonna rock it when it comes to raising money for our Family Team next Spring.... if anything it will get me more motivated because if any state needs a Family Teams Specialist it is in fact North Dakota (and the other smaller states that would benefit from this amazing position)...
So now I am gonna sit and wait for my next up ...because you know that it HAS got to be coming... Right??
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