Quote for the day...

The love of a family is

life's greatest blessing...

I remember when I "had a REAL job" that I always looked forward to the weekend as my "down" time. And now that I have been home with our girls for the past 3 1/2 years I ALMOST dread the weekends... ha!

Seriously though. Chad is home and off his normal sleep schedule *he works nights*, my mom is here, plus we have other people dropping in and frankly is REALLY messes with what I call my schedule/plan.

Well Shelby and Avery have their NICU (synagis shots) visit tomorrow so I am VERY interested to see their weight tomorrow. I KNOW that they have had to had gained some weight because we FINALLY HAVE TO WEAR SIZE 3 DIAPERS!!!!! Granted they are a bit big, but the 2's were causing WAY to much laundry for me...and anyone who knows me KNOWS how much I love to do my laundry.

I also have to try and get Delainey in to see the doc as well because there is SOMETHING crazy going on with her eye. It is all red and swollen *but not in a pink eye sort of way* so I want to get her in ASAP.

I will certainly update tomorrow and hopefully may even get brave and post some new pictures :)

March Of Dimes WalkAmerica 2007

Hey there folks! It is that time of year again. And I am proud to say that AGAIN we will be walking as Team Krumwiede Kids . We are happy to be able to do anything that can benefit preemies and also prevent it to happen to more families.

If you would like to join our team and walk with us in support of the March of Dimes we will welcome every person who would like to join us and if you would like to just donate, please know that the donation is tax deductible. Please feel free to check out our team link http://www.walkamerica.org/krumwiedekids

We are thrilled to be forming a team this year again...and we have a goal of $1000 as a team... So if you would like to donate PLEASE do.... it will help so many babies and families...

YEA!!!

Well Shelby and Avery had a quick weight check today and while it isn't the neonatologist scale (the same scale the girls were weighed on at birth) we know that they have both gained 2 lbs since the last check. Shelby weighed in at 17lbs 2 ozs *She had been 15lbs 2 ozs* and Avery is 16lbs 9 ozs *she has been 14 lbs 7ozs* --the girls have a nicu appointment on Monday so I will have the "proper" weight them since they have their synagis shots that day.

Needless to say we couldn't be happier :) Our little girls are starting to get some chubby cheeks again :) Delainey is also getting SOO TALL, she is already 38 inches. This probably isn't a big deal to most people but it certainly is to me as I was only 49 inches * 4' 1* when I started the 7th grade. She is like 36 pounds...but that kid is like pure muscle.. I have never seen a 3 year old with biceps before.

Thanks so much everyone!!!!

Mom's Night out..... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wow..what a nice and relaxing night. I was able to score some free tickets to a musical show this evening for Chad and I (THANK YOU JEN AGAIN!!!) and was able to enjoy dinner with my friends prior to and then drinks after the show. It was so nice to be able to go out and just be me, not "Delainey, Shelby and Avery's mommy"...

Thanks everyone who joined me in any/all of the activities :) It was so much fun!!!

Shelby is kind of like a car

Chad and I have decided that Shelby really is living up to the "car" theme of her name. How you ask? Because you know how when your car is making a noise you make an appointment with your mechanic and by the time you get your car into the mechanic it has stopped making the noise? Well that is exactly what Shelby does to us. Just 4 days after having come back from the "shop" (her PT) Shelby has pulled to standing all by herself.

This is how I found Avery (l) and Shelby (r) this AM when I went into their room....I love the look on Avery's face, she is like..ummm you can't stand what are you doing? And Shelby is smiling AROUND her pacifier :)

Hey mom...want to join us..we are having a party?!?!


Below you will find a link that "shows" Shelby pulling herself to stand :) If you are wondering what she is reaching for I was holding her pacifer in my hand :)
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v425/kkrumwiede/?action=view&current=100_3102.flv


YEA!!! Finally a post with NO BITCHING FROM KRISTIN :) Quick...write it down Ha-ha!!!

There outta be a law....

on how much companies can charge for Car seats... I mean apparently because I want my children safe I must be Bill Gates and just lost my checkbook.....

Ok rant over :)

Car seat hell.....

Chad and I received two wonderful car seats as babyshower gifts for Shelby and Avery. We did all the research and these were really good seats and not too pricey, but certainly more than we had planned on spending ourselves.

Well we recently learned that the seats had been recalled and when we called they said they would send us the "proper pieces to make the seats safe". Well I don't know about you but I really don't think that the little plastic clip they sent us will save our girls. So much to Chad's dismay I am wanting new car seats. So after Chad saw the clip that they sent us to "fix" our seats he too decided that it would be best to get the top/best seats so that we wouldn't have to buy them again.
I have done a lot of research and we are currently looking into three different seats. Well of course because we live in ND none of the stores here are wanting to be to helpful with us so we are having to bug the hell out of my SIL (THANK YOU TRACY) and now probably Brian too (remember we love you guys right? And you wouldn't want the girls in unsafe car seats right?? :) ), asking a bunch of questions --Brian and Tracy recently got one of the seats we are looking at ( http://www.elitecarseats.com/Britax-Marathon.pro ) so we have been asking them questions like "can we get three seats into the back of our car" "what is the width of the seat at its widest part" "was the seat put together when you got it" and a bunch more-- we really should send them a card or gift certificate or something to say thanks-.
So here are the three seats we are currently looking into (please if you have heard anything about any of them please let us know)
http://www.elitecarseats.com/Britax-Marathon.pro#specs
http://www.elitecarseats.com/Fisher-Price-Safe-Voyage-Deluxe-Convertible.pro
http://www.elitecarseats.com/Sunshine-Kids-Radian.pro

Well enough crabbing for one night LOL. I promise one night I will have a completely pleasent post with no bitching or complaining ;)

Ok--reality slapped me in the face

Chad and I had been talking about trying for another baby and we had both finally gotten over the "fears" of having another set of twins or the other medical issues that seem to occur for us.... That is until tonight... OH MY GOODNESS...

Chad had to be to work early so I was completely on my own for the entire night, plus McKenzie was here because she is in town and her dad had to work. So I made dinner (which I had to fight Delainey to eat and finally gave up with the threat of "no snacks"---to which she was ok with until McKenzie got a snack and then Delainey was more than happy to eat her fish sticks and fries---HEY I NEVER SAID IT WAS A FANCY DINNER), attempted to feed Shelby and Avery dinner--to which their response was to put their fingers in their mouths every time I put a bite in and promptly take whatever was in the bite out at throw it at me--give baths-- did I mention my children REFUSE to be bathed together so what COULD theoritically be done in like 10 minutes or less takes over 30 minutes, not counting Delainey's "play" time--get pj's on, and then THIS is where all heck breaks loose. Avery is smashing Shelby face into the floor *this is Miss evils new favorite pasttime*, McKenzie and Delainey are screaming about who has the twin doll sets *mind you Delainey has 6 YES SIX sets of these dolls*, the damn dog has to pee on the carpet *yes she is housetrained but apparently because I was dealing with everything else going on she had to go at THAT VERY MINUTE even though she had been out just 5 minutes earlier...apparently it is too cold for the dog to pee outside---she is SOOO getting a dog run*.... so I pick up Avery and tell her she is being mean...her response stick out that naturally pouty lip *yep... she HAD to get Chad's lips* eyes fill with tears and just starts wailing... I set her into the exersaucer *yes I know PT's will tell you these are bad, but until the PT lives with my monsters... I mean children they need to keep their opinions to their selves LOL*, pick Shelby up to inspect the damage done to her face *she is ok...tough little kid* who promptly looks at Avery and gives her a big "na na na naanaa" smile and laughs, Shelby is then put into the jumper *hey, she is getting exercise*... I tell McKenzie and Delainey to stop fighting and I will help them both find sets of dollies so they can play together or no one is going to play--get that settled, clean up the dog pee, quickly take the damn dog out to pee AGAIN and she actually goes bring her back into the house, put her in the kennel *yea yea I know I have a thing for locking up my "kids"*
McKenzie and Delainey start arguing about something else so I tell Delainey to go lay in Mommy and Daddy's bed for a bit *she is so tired that she is just whining and crying about everything* to which McKenzie says "NO FAIR"... ok how about "lets watch a movie in Kristin's bed"... this works as the 4 year old and 3 year old are camped out in MY bed watching the 4th Harry Potter *yes again.. BAD MOMMY*. I give Shelby and Avery their pediasure bottles to which they both drain in about 5 minutes. Let them play for about 15 minutes and then it dawns on my I have 2 pre-schoolers in my bed watching a movie, so I run down the hallway to find Delainey fast asleep and McKenzie VERY CLOSE, which wouldn't be to bad except her dad is supposed to pick her up at 10pm.So McKenzie comes out and plays, Shelby and Avery nurse and then go to bed rather nicely....
I try to work on some homework but I can't think because McKenzie is playing with the stupid Little Mermaid necklace from McDonalds that says "isn't it fantastic". I wait for Lee to pick McKenzie up and then colapse into my computer chair to again try to do homework. The phone rings and it is Chad.... " Hi honey, just calling to say I love you"... WHAT A JERK huh :)

And that my friends was reality COMPLETELY BITING ME IN THE ARSE.... but know what ?!? I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT AND WOULDN'T GIVE IT UP FOR THE WORLD!!!! although... I might wait until at least Delainey and the dog are potty trained before thinking of more pitter patter of little feet in this house :)
And if you made it through that whole thing you are better friends than I would be :)
NIGHT ALL :)

WAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

YES!!! FINALLY!!! I have finally left an office at St. Alexius NOT feeling like a complete failure as mom!!! Needless to say, Shelby and Avery's OT/PT evaluations went really well. The PT said that we do not need to come back until the girls are fully walking and then IF ONLY Shelby rolls her foot while she walks.

They are on track or surpassing the milestones for both PT and OT and the therapists were praising me for how good the kids are doing and everything. It was a wonderful feeling to hear that my girls are doing well and to get to feel like the good mom that I know that I am.

That is not to sound conceeded but when you struggle with infertility, premature births and the problems that come with those struggles, you can really take it personally.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support :)-Kristin

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

I have FINALLY gotten to take a complete shower (meaning, hair shampood, conditioned, shaved my legs, and just plain relax a bit under the hot water) almost 13 months after giving birth to Shelby and Avery.... Downside--- I had to take the damn thing at MIDNIGHT!!!..... I guess it really is a give/take situation... Ha-ha!!!

Nerves...again

Tomorrow the girls (Shelby and Avery) have an appointment with both OT and PT at St. Alexius and I can feel the nerves and butterflies in my stomach tonight. The girls will be evaluated as 12 month olds and see in which areas they are "lacking" or having difficulties. Both of the girls will also be seen regaurding their feet/hips. Shelbys feet sort of curl in and Avery's point out --sort of in the opposite of pigeon toed.

I guess I should just be happy that the girls tests results came back almost normal. Avery is completely 100% fine--just a peanut. Shelby had two levels that were off, but the hormones that work with those were ok. So the plan of action for her is to re-test those four levels again in two months. In the event they are off again we will then need to proceed with an MRI and possibly so more in depth testing, but neither their pediatrician or the ped endro that she spoke with feels that will be needed.

So if you could please continue to keep our girls in your prayers and also add Nicole, Kaden and Abbie in your prayers as well. I know all too well the pain of having to leave your babies at the hospital while you have to leave. Kaden and Abbie are doing well according to Nicole so here's to praying they continue to keep improving :)

I will certainly update again tomorrow after Shelby and Avery's appointments.

They win....

Today Shelby and Avery had their 12-month evaluation with their regular pediatrician. The appointment started with them getting weighed and measured and the same "well they are slowly gaining and growing, but they are" bs that we get every time. She did say that she does not believe that our girls are failure to thrive, just short.

I talked to her about our fears that we discussed with Dr. Brown to see if we would get the same answers regaurding Shelby's feet, but other than that I didn't mention much more because I feel confident in Dr. Brown and her care for our girls.

We discuss our vaccines that we will be getting at this appointment (We have a different time table for our vaccines than is the norm) and this was when the doc hit me with some hard to hear stuff (especially since I was alone). She wants for us to take Shelby back to PT to be re-evaluated for her feet (which works for us), but she also wants for us to get Stride Rite shoes for both girls in hopes that it helps with the structure of their feet (Shelby is pigeon toed and Avery is opposite). She wants for us to run COMPLETE work ups to see if there is a reason our girls are "short stature", she also wants to run tests to see if the girls have Turner's Syndrome (http://turners.nichd.nih.gov/ClinFrIntro.html). So today the girls had to have xrays, blood draws (Avery did REALLY well and calmed down right away, Shelby on the other hand had to be poked 7 times and FINALLY we went to the main clinic to have her blood drawn where they were finally able to get blood through a large vein in her head--same place most preemies get IV lines), and also had to have urine catch bags---each girl had 4 because the bags didn't stay one and when the last time they fell off I called our ped and she finally decided to go without it).

The blood tests will take 7-14 days to get back (yea! Gotta love sit and wait) so hopefully our doc will get on the docs at Mayo where the blood has to be sent and we will find out at soon as possible.

Many of you know that I have been in school to become a Nurse practioner and after the past 4 1/2 years of dealing with infertility, miscarriages, pregnancy, NICU stays, and now all the bs because of the girls being small.... I have lost ALOT of my respect and understanding for the medical proffesion. Don't get me wrong...I love our doctors and I am so very thankfull to them for our daughters and my life, but I am so tired of all the "games" that have to be planned and such.

I called Dr. Brown when I got home and she told me that in her heart she feels that the ped is just covering her bases and doesn't suspect that ANY of these tests are going to come back off, but if by chance something is wrong she will help us every step of the way...she really feels that once the girls start getting more calories from the Pediasure that they will start to take off :)

Oh.. on a good note, we qualify for WIC but just barely.... :) Guess sometimes it pays to be broke Ha-ha!!

Please keep the girls in your prayers... and me too because I really am at my breaking point. Thanks alot everyone- Kristin

You HAVE GOT to be kidding me...

Ok...hang on people because this is a "good" one.

The girls are supposed to "work up" to 4-8 ozs bottlesof Pediasre each day each. There are 6 bottles in a case and each case is $10.44 (at Walmart, so I am sure it is more expensive at other places), So we would eventually be looking at a cost of roughly $110/week on Pediasure. Formula feeding parents deserve kudos from me, I mean WOW..that is a lot of $$. I guess having been a breastfeeding mom it never really dawned on me just how much that stuff costs...but anyways back to my point.

When the girls got their "prescription" for the Pediasure on Tuesday we were told to try and get it filled a local pharmacy and if it got denied to appeal the denial. So we did in fact get denied as our insurance does not cover "supplements". So we came home and appealed this decision by our health insurance. Today I got the phone call from the care team in charge of our insurance and we have again been denied coverage of the Pediasure because our girls feed normally. The care specialist then suggested that we discuss the option of having both Shelby and Avery under go g-tube (feeding tubes surgically placed into their bellies) surgery, because THEN our insurance would cover the Pediasure because it would consist as their sole matter of nutrients.

OK... Does ANYONE ELSE see HOW MESSED UP THIS IS??!?!?!?!?!? Or is it just me? I mean seriously How seriously screwed up is that train of thought!!!!! We actually ended the call with our care specialist so that we could call our neonatologist and see what she had to say about this.

We had a conference call with our neonatologist, ourselves, and our insurance care team and after having spent 2 hours on the phone--mind you our care person SHOULD have left the office at 4pm, she didn't get to leave until 630pm-- and we have now decided that our girls will in deed NOT be getting g-tubes placed (DUH!!!!) and that they will continue to have the bulk of their feeds from solids foods, breast milk, and Pediasure...but our insurance will not pay for it. Wow... really worth our time huh?

When our doctor ended the call with our insurance she had us remain on the line and she actually asked us "You think it would dawn on them if we just billed them for the girls' surgery, spilt the payment and then got them to pay for the Pediasure"... Ha! Gotta love a doc with a sense of humor.

The doctor does have one last "attempt" to get another organization to pay for the Pediasure and to NOT count get help with it out just yet. She is going to contact both WIC and also March of Dimes because I guess there is funding out their for long term care (which I guess this could be classified as)... So please send some prayers our way because without help Chad and I really are going to be in trouble with this situation.

Thanks- Kristin and Krew *yes I know it should be crew* ha-ha!!

clarification...

Chad wanted for me to clarify the term "failure to thrive" for eveyone who reads my blog. In most cases failure to thrive is a term used describe an infant (or child) that is failing to gain weight, grow in height, have proper head growth, and lack of meeting milestones. It is often used as a term when children are in severe neglect and abusive homes

This is certainly NOT the case when it comes to Avery and Shelby--- anyone who sees us with our girls KNOWS that they are our worlds and that Chad and I would be empty if anything were to ever happen to any of the three of them-- our girls eat upwards of 1200 calories /day and that is not counting the Pediasure (at 237 calories/8ozs serving). They are just BUSY little kids.

Chad and I get so much conflicting information anymore that 90% of it we just let roll off our backs. The neonatologist (who is great and we love her dearly) and our pediatrician (who we also love dearly) always seem to be on very opposite ends of the spectrum on things. For example we left our appointment yesterday with the neonatologist completely drained and feeling like failures as parents...and come Friday when the girls leave their 12 month check with the ped it will be a completely different feeling. Their pediatrician is more of a "naturalist" and understands that breastfed babies are smaller and as long as the girls are meeting their milestones (which they are very nicely and even early in some cases) she doesn't get to worked up about it.

We THANKFULLY have so much support from friends and family (Thank you Tracy... you have no idea) so that makes it a bit easier, but at the end of the day I can't help but wonder.... should I have not nursed my girls? I mean formula certainly seemed to do the trick for other kids, and even friends of mine who breast feed...their kids all have chubby little cheeks and rolly polly legs.... so I often feel the guilt of many breast isn't best for my kids. Talk about a baseball bat to the head...

Wow.. this blog entry really is the ramblings of Kristin tonight.. ha-ha! And if you made it through the entire entry...THANK YOU :) Have a good one folks :)

Three little words...

Three little words can just crush a mom…. Today Shelby and Avery were clinically diagnosed as “FAILURE TO THRIVE”… and the moment those words came out of the mouth of our neonatologist I burst into tears.

A friend of mine is a foster parent and she has had several children in her care due to failure to thrive so part of me can’t help but think that the minute any one sees my daughters medical records that social services is going to be on my door to take my children away.

Chad and I of course are having a hard time with this new diagnosis for the simple fact that most of if not all parenting books state that children should triple their birth weight by their first birthday and both Shelby and Avery have done that. Is it their fault that they started smaller? Certainly not.

Hopefully now that they girls are each drinking 3 -8oz servings of Pediasure at $11/ 6 bottles they will put on some weight.

My New Year's Resolution ....

My New Year’s Resolution

I resolve to use my video camera more.The issue is that I did not follow through on last year’s resolution to slow down time, to keep my kids from growing up so fast. So this year I’m trying to be more realistic and just use the video camera to capture more and watch it later and transport back.

I can not believe another year is ending.I can not believe that Delainey is 3 years 1 month and 3 days old. I can not believe that she will be going to preschool next year. I can’t believe that she can pick out her clothes and get herself completely dressed without one ounce of my help. She can clean her room, pick up toys and even knows how to fold laundry if she is in the mood. Where did my baby go ? The baby that needed to nurse to sleep and even then would not stay asleep unless she was cuddled into me in mine and Chad’s bed. Where did that precocious little toddler who would look up at us with those cubby little toddler cheeks and say “wub you mama” go? Just today she came up to be, sat on my lap put my hair behind my ears, put her hand on my face and said “ I love you lots Mommy.” and got down and went to play just as quickly as she came to me. So for Delainey I resolve to remember that she's still my baby and still needs to be hugged and held each day. she still needs my patience and encouragement. With any luck for a while longer anyway, she still needs me.


I can not believe that Shelby is 1 year and 5 days old. One year ago today I was sitting in the NICU of St. A’s holding her willing her to nurse (or take the bottle) so that she could come home with her daddy, big sister and me. I was praying that the small bleed in her brain would not cause real damage and that she would be the happy and healthy baby that Chad and I had ordered up. She has come so far in the past year that I cry just sitting her writing this. Gone are the therapy sessions, gone are the counting of calories and forcing her to stay on her tummy. Gone are the hours spent of holding her while she slept just so that I could be with her and not just the 15 steps from her and Avery’s room where their cribs were. Gone are the moments of her needing me to do everything for her… Gone are the moments of being able to set her in the middle of the living room and leave the room and knowing she would be there when I got back. My baby is growing up, she is now a toddler and the world is an open book to her, so my resolution this year is to remember that she is still my baby and still needs to be hugged and held each day, she still needs my patience and encouragement. With any luck for awhile longer anyways she still needs me.

And Avery…sweet little Avery. My “baby”. As with Shelby (being they are twins) is 1 year and 5 days old, and one year ago today I was sitting in the NICU willing for her to be able to digest the breastmilk that she was taking in. I was praying she would finish her whole feed by breast or bottle, that she would stop having her breathing spells and would be able to regulate her own temperature so she could come home with us. My other prayer was that my girls would at least be able to come home together. Gone are the days of Avery screaming after every feeding (not that I REALLY miss those). Gone are the days of her NEEDING me to be holding her for her to fall asleep. Gone are the days of her having to cry herself to sleep (again—not that I really miss those). Gone are the days of her sitting in the bumbo and being as happy as can be as long as her big sister Delainey was singing to her. Gone are the days of leaving my coffee cup on the table, unless of course I want Avery to climb onto the table and “drink” it for me. Gone are the days of getting to finish her snack because she didn’t eat (probably a good thing though). She no longer needs me to entertain her for every second of the day. Gone are the sweet moments of me holding her while she slept just watching her sleep and listening to her breathe. My baby is growing up, she is a toddler and her world is open and out there just for her, so my resolution this year is to remember that she still is my baby and still needs to be hugged and held each day, she still needs my patience and encouragement. With any luck for awhile longer anyways she still needs me.

But for me I resolve to try once again to slow down time. To smell all their heads and hold them tight. To tickle them daily and kiss them goodnight. To watch them all wonder, to listen to them play. To appreciate each of them for exactly what they are- - - my sole reason for being. AND just in case that doesn’t work as well as I’d hope, I resolve to use my video camera more and take more pictures.

May 2007 bring you all as much joy and happiness as 2006 has brought me and my family....another page had turned in the book of life...BUT OH WHAT STORY MINE WILL BE.....