Elation, shock, anger,motivation, anxiety,fear, stress and finally SUCCESS

This past week has been one roller coaster ride after another for our family. Last week Thursday was had a much anticipated appointment for Shelby and after the one we left feeling like for once someone was listening, we felt that for once some saw the same things we did (or in this case even more) and we were able to come up with a plan of action to help Shelby succeed rather than just continue to exist with worries, doubt and fear as a good portion of her day. (this was the elation). Please forgive us for not fully sharing the diagnosis that Shelby has received, while this is a family blog and we do share a lot of stuff that other people may not normally publically share Chad and I have agreed that this is part of Shelby's story that really is a need to know basis.The new words, letters etc that now are in the 'description' of Shelby are not ours to share. We know that you will respect this...thank you.

After sharing my feelings of extreme joy over the way that our appointment had gone, I contacted Shelby's school to request information about the IEP process and was given the response of " I'll get back to you" about 3 hours later I received a call from the school asking "Will next Friday at 9:30am work for you to have a Kid Talk meeting?"(here is the shock)... my first response was "For what?" and was given the answer of "Well the staff and I would like to meet with you to explain to you the reasons that Shelby will never qualify for an IEP"....(here's were anger comes in and stayed for awhile) my response was "excuse me?" and I was then told "Well if that time works for you we can talk more at the meeting"... I of course agreed with the time for the meeting not caring particularly what else was already on my plate because this was far more important.

I spent the better part of Thursday evening and a good part of Friday last week being pissed off... not going to coat it. I was angry because again Shelby was been shot down before things were even fully looked at. Again she was getting the shaft before anyone was looking at the WHOLE picture/story. All they see is a kid that is a brat that they don't understand...BUT because she is smart and her behaviors etc are not effecting her education they refuse to look into anything else because she isn't FAILING... Define Failing to a mother who's child comes home every day from school saying her teachers hate her, explain failing to a mother who while consoling said child day after day has another child come into the room and say "no mommy, they really don't like her", explain to that mother how her child is NOT FAILING by be scared to go to school every day, explain to a mother how her child is NOT FAILING when her child can actually maker herself vomit so she can avoid getting on the bus....

When I woke up Saturday I was motivated... I was motivated to find all the information that I could. I was motivated to fight for Shelby and to be her voice when no one else wanted to listen, I was motivated to get what needed to be done done. This mama was on a mission.... and boy did I kick some butt on the stuff I found.

While the week went on, with the motivation came anxiety and fear. I began to over think things, I began to doubt myself as a mother, as an advocate. This then brought on the stress because I was not willing to accept the things that I was thinking.

Today started with alot of anxiety... but then I went to the meeting. I shared my side, the staff at the school shared theirs. We may not have been on the same page when we all first started the meeting, but by the end we were. One of the biggest obstacles was that Shelby's teachers had NO IDEA of how she was feeling when she was coming home. They said that she did not show any of the behaviors that I was sharing with them while at school. So we have come to an agreement. At this time Shelby does not qualify for an IEP because she is not 'technically' failing (there are no actually grading standards in the program she is in and she is making great improvements etc) she does need some assistance. We worked out a plan that I feel will not only benefit Shelby but probably her whole class as well.

So for this mama... getting everyone on the same page and having open lines of communication was a MAJOR victory for us. We have an entire team working for Shelby and I am happy to say that for the first time in a long time... I feel good about her and her preschool situation.